The eroticism of shame
“I want Colin to treat Briana with the arrogance any real man would feel towards someone who would willingly surrender his masculinity to please the woman he loves and change his entire being to satisfy my whims.”
by Nancy Fairchild
nancy.fairchild@hushmail.com
Briana sent me a picture today that brought the biggest smile I’ve had in months to my face. She is beginning to show a fashion style that will work perfectly for her. To think she was a man just a few weeks ago is almost unbelievable now. When I convinced my husband of ten years to go through this transformation for me, she embraced it immediately. Now she plays with makeup to give her face different looks all the time and she buys fashion magazines and reads articles she would never have looked at before we put the extra letter at the end of her name.
I don’t ever want Briana to look sexy. I want her to have her own style that shows off her feminine figure but subtly tells aggressive men to stay away. I do want her to wear heels, because that’s a part of being a woman that she will probably appreciate a lot. When she is finally allowed outside after a period during which she is conditioned to be totally and completely feminized, her clothes will be of the highest quality, but her style will always be demure.
She is a skinny little waif so changing genders has come easily and naturally. I realize now I could have dressed Briana as a girl long ago and nobody would have thought she ever was a man. She is getting laser treatment on her face, under her arms and, where her pussy should be to, to permanently remove all hair. It’s given her a fresh complexion and a natural glow to her face. She never had an Adam’s apple, so we don’t have to worry about removing that.
The hormones have kicked in quickly thanks to the advice of Helen, our doctor in Oxford. Briana is on a double dose daily and she’s getting hot rushes now fairly frequently, which she loves because she can feel her masculinity leaving her and her new femininity taking over. Her breasts will begin to grow in a bit. She wants to keep them natural and small and tender to the touch. Her cock and balls have already begun to shrink a bit and she’s happy about that too. She is hoping they become tiny and cute little replicas of what real men have. Of course, they won’t work anymore but she’s fine with that.
Briana is coming to join me on the Indian Ocean island I have been hiding from the pandemic on in December. She will live in the same villa my lover, Hans, and I now occupy. It’s the furthest from the main hall of all the ten villas that make up this little, but rather expensive resort. I have been here since February and have changed lovers three times during that time. Briana will stay in the other bedroom and Hans and I will continue to share a bed together. He is as sexually insatiable as myself so Briana will be treated regularly to the sounds of us fucking, as she has in the past when other lovers joined me in our apartment in London.
I suppose we should have Briana’s gender reassigned when we get back to the UK and, when that happens, perhaps we should have another wedding. She will no longer be my husband but my wife, but not in an equal relationship. Briana will continue to support me as she has always done but she will live under my direction and become, in effect, my property. She is thrilled at this because she is turning everything, except the way she makes our livelihood, over to me. As we will be moving to a house in Oxford when we return to England, along with Colin and his wife, Fiona, I will, in turn, turn over ownership of Briana to the handsome black man who will be head of the household and, once again, my lover.
When Briana comes in December the weather will have changed and we will no longer be on the leeward side of the island and have calm seas facing us every day. The monsoons will start, and the rain will come down hard and the surf will pick up and make traveling to and from the main island rough and hazardous. None of the roads are paved and most will wash out as the water streams down from the mountains. There’s no electricity in the villas since the last tropical storm took down the wires and the main hall will lose power during some of the largest storms.
During the months we will stay here together Briana will learn valuable lessons about her future, which entails utter devotion to, not only me, but my lovers as well. In the past, when she was still a man, she wasn’t expected to do that. But now she is a different gender, not a woman, but a girl and she will always be thought of as that. Girls do what they are told, women can think and act on their own free will. It’s important for her to know that she will be the only girl in our household next year. Fiona and I are women and we can say no, and we can be selfish bitches, if we choose. Briana can never say no and never be selfish.
It goes beyond that, because she will be expected to be at Colin’s whim and not only accept his sexual advances but encourage them and surrender herself totally to him. Fiona is not as sexual a person as myself, so Colin and I will share a bed and Fiona will have her own room and Briana will stay in the ground floor bedroom in the back of the house. One weekend morning she will come to the bed Colin and I share and take off her nightgown and expose her budding breasts, slim waist, narrow hips and cute little cock and balls, so tiny they look feminine, and climb in bed with us, quivering with anticipation. I will sit on my knees and watch.
I want Briana to kiss Colin’s muscular chest and lick and suck on his sensitive nipples, showing his utter devotion to him. I want Colin to hold him firmly in his muscular arms and selfishly push Briana’s head towards his semi-hard cock. I want Colin to treat Briana with the arrogance any real man would feel towards someone who would willingly surrender his masculinity to please the woman he loves and change his entire being to satisfy my whims.
Briana will take the length of Colin’s black cock down her throat, as I do, until her lips meet the root and she will slowly bob up and down on it, only pausing to breath, until it is as hard as steel. I will hand Briana some lube which she will take on her dainty fingers and lovingly coat his cock until it glistens. Then Briana will lie on her back and guide his shaft into her, and I will watch as the girl I created, gets taken by the man I adore. The contrast of their skin colors will only add to the eroticism of it. Colin will fuck Briana just as hard as he fucks me. When Briana melts into putty in his strong arms he will pump his thick cum deep inside her.
I’ll see the look of utter shame and surrender on her face. That will send an erotic jolt through my body. I am creating Briana, not just to turn her from my husband into my best girlfriend, but to fulfill a need in me. It’s so deep it’s difficult to describe. but I want to create something beautiful that also brings shame on the person I love, because I can share in that: I crave it. I love her, which is why I need to do this to her. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t care. But to engender a devotion to me that is so deep that she would shame herself for my pleasure shows the twisted love we have for each. Briana is the only person who knows the deep reaches of my erotic mind. She is going into this to bring me pleasure, not because she sought to become a girl, because bringing me pleasure has been her only purpose in life even before I made her into what she is today.
